This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't read!

Post your clean jokes and stories here. The keyword is CLEAN.

This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't read!

Postby loyd » Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:01 pm

WE ALL GET OLDER WITH TIME

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 5 years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press 1 for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

This is my favorite: At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining coz I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later:
• I don’t have to go to school or work.
• I get an allowance every month.
• I have my own pad
• I don’t have a curfew.
• I have a driver’s license and my own car.
• I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store.
• The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
• And I don’t have acne.
Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names!
Loyd -- Administrator
User avatar
loyd
 
Posts: 2125
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:56 pm
Location: Manchester, TN

Re: This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't re

Postby henry » Thu Sep 21, 2017 3:38 pm

Thanks for sharing these. All hit pretty close to home. I think # 3 starts very early in life.
User avatar
henry
 
Posts: 447
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:04 pm

Re: This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't re

Postby loyd » Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:39 pm

Yep! Happens to the best of us. Some get over it. Some don't. :roll: :lol:
Loyd -- Administrator
User avatar
loyd
 
Posts: 2125
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:56 pm
Location: Manchester, TN

Re: This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't re

Postby southpaw57 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 7:11 am

Okay, I will wait until I get "old" to read the post. You "old" guys have all the fun. That means that the forum has to keep going until that time. :geek:
User avatar
southpaw57
 
Posts: 456
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:32 pm

Re: This is only for us old guys! If you ain't one don't re

Postby sid_matheny » Fri Sep 22, 2017 4:32 pm

Sure rings a bell!
Sid Matheny
McMinnville, TN

"To the proud, the applause of the world rings in their ears; to the humble, the applause of heaven warms their hearts."
User avatar
sid_matheny
 
Posts: 963
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:37 pm
Location: McMinnville, TN


Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron