Vol.12 / Issue 11                           Tennessee Valley Woodworkers                             Editor, Richard Gulley                                 November 1997

It’s almost the end of another woodworking year. It’s also a time of Thanksgiving and I’m thankful that this semester is almost over and I can get back to TVWW meetings. (Which reminds me of another thing for which I’m thankful - Good Friends!)

This issue is sort of bittersweet for me as December will be my last issue of Splinters. While I do need to free up some time for other things (woodworking for example), I will miss putting the newsletter together each month. I’ve learned a lot about word processing, time management and the karma of copying machines in the last two years. Lessons that will, no doubt, serve me well the rest of my days. Thans for the opportunity to serve as the editor of Splinters.

Now let’s get on with the news!

Meeting was kicked off by Doyle McConnell at 7 PM.

Visitor was Eric Robinson who was also the Official Youth Guest at the fall symposium.

Doyle declared the fall symposium a success and gave special mention of the food and special thanks to Louise and John Green for providing it. Loyd Ackerman made a presentation to Tom Cowan of a bowl gouge as a thank you from the club for Tom’s special effort including providing the location and making a great presentation at the event.

Henry Davis announced that the level of the Arrowmont fund stood just $156 short of the $500 needed to get the 8 x 8 paver donated. John Green made a motion for the club to underwrite the effort siting the need for timeliness in these things. The motion was seconded by several in attendance and unanimously adopted. Henry Davis will carry the process forward.

John Sargent announced that the committee on future exhibits will meet during the week of the 27th. He’ll contact the members.

Phil Bishop’s knee replacement was announced. A card was passed around for signatures.

Pat Matranga’s open house was announced and flyers made available. Her open house is on Saturday November 15^th from 10 to 6 PM and Sunday November 16^th from 12 to 6 PM. Several people in the TVWW plan to attend.

A reminder that the Pot luck Christmas party is Saturday December 6 at the Church of the Nazerene in Decherd.

A nominating committee made up of Doyle McConnell, Ross Roepke, Harold Hewgley, Henry Davis, Richard Gulley, and Tom Cowan was announced.

Show and tell included:

Tom Cowan – his new gouge. Tom talked about how he intended to shape it and use it Wednesday night.

Jim VanCleave – Jim related an entertaining story about love gone wrong and a hand carved paddle.

Houston Clark – Rocking horse from Wood magazine made of white oak and stained with Minwax golden oak stained and varnish.

Tom Church – bowl turned since fall symposium. Says it’s the first time he’s felt in control of the gouge.

Crotia Robinson – described a project she needs advice on.

James Cooke – carvings of canes and parts of a Halloween puppet for the kids.

Henry Davis – a plum natural edge bowl and a discussion on the use of the rubber stuff Richard Gulley gave out at a previous meeting. He also showed and discussed his now completed Cherry table on which he used aniline dye based on Bob Reese’s presentation at the last meeting. He also used advice from John Sargent on how to attach the shelf to the legs as well as advice from Tom Cowan on design aspects.

Loyd Ackerman – showed a 2 part closed form vessel made of apple.

Doyle – Plum burl turning. It seems that the burl was pithy, so Doyle used Minwax wood hardener to reclaim it. Then turned out a hollow vessel with natural edge.

Tom Gillard – boxes and portable lap desk made from Russian birch. He says that Gilberts (in Huntland) has the Russian birch at good prices.

Ross Roepke – showed an oak desk made to his grandson’s specs. The desk had drawers and an oil finish. Ross also showed the end of a book shelf and described the peg and tendon fastening system.

Prior to the break John Green announced that there would be goodies and coffee available for the break and cookies for sale for $2.00 a bag. All were left over from the symposium and frozen to keep. The went real fast. Proceeds (~$25) went into the club treasury. The goodies included Baklava, pastries, and cookies. John is asking for members to kick in a quarter for the coffee each month so he can carry on the break. The response was enthusiastic.

The program on model airplane making was given by Doug Whiteaker, Ben’s son. The program ran overtime with many questions and a few recollections from the past. Doug had some beautiful models to show and some work in progress which he passed around to show the construction techniques. Doug is a one time national champion model plane racer and has one of his designs in production with a major model maker.

I failed to mention that Tom Gillard will be the new editor of Splinters beginning the new year. The newsletter will be in very capable hands. Tom has a great sense of humor and an eye for detail. I’ll still be submitting articles for possible publication and I hope others will give assistance and suggestions as needed.

I want to make mention of the Christmas dinner again. This years dinner will be Saturday December 6 at the Church of the Nazerene in Decherd. (I didn’t want anyone to forget.)

I think John Sargent and friends will be providing the entertainment this year. Be sure to bring a song with you, if only in your heart.

Thanks to Tom Gillard for sending these goodies in to Splinters!

Subject: We are under paid

Here is a simple explanation that is also mathematical proof:

Knowledge is Power.

Time is Money.

And, as every engineer knows:

Power = Work / Time

If Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, then

Knowledge = Work / Money

>Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge

Thus, Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches zero, regardless of the Work done.

What this means is:

The Less you Know, the More you Make.

I KNEW someone would eventually prove this!

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The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words

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Lesser Known Wise Sayings and Adages

*If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

*Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

*Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

*To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

*Two wrongs are only the beginning.

*You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

*The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

*A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

*If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

*Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

*Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

*Half the people you know are below average.

*99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

*If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT:

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long_term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

*Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

*Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

*Do one thing every day that scares you.

*Sing.

*Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

*Floss.

*Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

*Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

*Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

*Stretch.

*Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40_year_olds I know still don't.

*Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

*Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

*Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

*Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

*Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

*Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

*Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

*Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

*Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

*Travel.

*Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

*Respect your elders.

*Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

*Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

*Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

If your newsletter was late this month, it’s because it fought me all the way. I composed it twice (lost it once on a computer disk transport). I worked on it at home and at work but seemed like what I needed to complete it was always at the other locale. It’s been one of those weeks all day long!

Several years ago the Fine Tool Journal in cooperation with EAIA, MWTCA, fellow dealers and collectors developed a grading system for old tools. The system has been generally adopted by the tool world and is used in one from or another by most tool dealers. The Fine Tool Journal holds the copyright to the Condition Classification Table and allows use in the FTJ format or any other format by anyone interested in using it. Recognition of the Journal always appreciated.

The original intent was to give the tool collecting hobby a grading system that both the sell and buyer could rely on. In most cases, we have found that the system has served the original purpose well. Of course, the grading of an individual tool always comes down to the opinions of the sell and the buyer and questions can rise as to rather a tool is Good+ or Fine_. But if one keeps a few important points in mind, buying tools sight unseen can be done very successfully. Some of the most important points are:

1. Be sure you know what you buying. If you really want an Bedrock #4, a Handyman will not do regardless of price.

2. Ask questions about the things that are important to you, most full time dealers are not users.

3. Read the tool description carefully. If it is listed as " cracked tote, chip in rear rail, ground sides, 20% japanning o/w good" it may bark.

4. Most important be sure that the dealer offers a Satisfaction Guarantee and that the minute you get the item you look it over and before you do ANYTHING TO THE TOOL call the dealer if you have a problem. Most dealers will take an item back but it is important to return it untouched and promptly.

5. Finally the average tool is in good condition that is the condition typically seen at flea markets and shops. Fine and better tools of any kind have had special care/ storage and are the exception. So when you order a tool in Good condition plan on it needing a little TLC.

If you would like a copy of the Fine Tool Journal Condition Classification Table please print your name and address on a long envelope and send it to:

The Fine Tool Journal

27 Fickett Road

Pownal, Maine 04069

Clarence Blanchard,Fine Tool Journal

1. Forget your Visa card. Flea markets are the last great bastion of raw capitalism and they don't take plastic. Or checks. This is cash only. You're in the Underground Economy now.

2. Take a bag with you. Plastic grocery bags are de rigeur. Avoid anything too fancy. One of those L.L. Bean canvas bags is way too effete and will mark you as a yuppie bastahd (YB) with money. Bad idea. Double up on the plastic bags if you're going after chisels.

3. Dress to conceal. Don't wear fancy loafers without socks or 'yuppie casual' clothes that make you look like you stepped off your sailboat. You want your old pants with the paint stains and the shirt with same. A rip or two around the knees is a nice touch. Footwear should be coordinated with the rest of the attire. You are striving for the 'part_time handyman scrounging cheap tools' look. Don't bother shaving beforehand. If you are ducking out of the office on a Friday afternoon, at least ditch the tie. All bets are off in California. Wear whatever the hell you want there.

4. You see something you want, you step right over and latch onto it. Don't be shy. Pick it up and look it over. Don't put it down until you are absolutely sure that you don't want it or you are willing to walk away. Don't put it down prematurely because I'll be standing behind you and I _will_ pick it up. Remember that. I don't care if you're wearing a Galoot cap or not. I'm right behind you. Don't get absent minded and walk away from the table with it though or the vendor's cousin Bernie, a 300 lb biker with some amazing tattoos, will land on you and retrieve it.

5. When you haggle your way to a good deal, contain your glee. Laughing maniacally and shrieking "Do you know what this thing is really worth??!!!" is guaranteed to cut down on repeat business with the same vendor. Keep a poker face and try to say something polite, like "She ought to clean up pretty good".

6. Don't educate the vendor. You start spouting stuff from Patrick Leach's Stanley Blood and Gore or PTAMPIA or John Walter's new Stanley price guide and you may convince them that you are going to seriously lowball them on that Fantastically Rare Widget you have the death grip on. Of course that is _exactly_ what you are going to try to do but don't telegraph it, for Heavens sake. If they ask you what the thing is for (sometimes they won't have a clue) just scratch your head and mutter, "Beats me, but it looks like I could use it as a paint scraper."

7. Don't dawdle. Even a modest sized flea market can take a while to work through. Walk at a good pace and train your eye to see tools. Forget the rest of the stuff. Saw handles, plane totes, rusty objects are what you are seeking. Learn the patterns of where vendors put the rust such as ends of tables, with garage items, in boxes underneath the tables. Look in the boxes because I'm right behind you and I _will_ look in the boxes. Learn which vendors bring tools but don't forget to check them all out before you leave because you just never know...

8. Keep a package of those pre_moistened towelettes handy in your car. Your hands can get pretty nasty after pawing through a few boxes of rusty tools at your flea market of choice. Kinda hard to innocently explain your delay while on a SWMBO errand when you have rust stains on your hands. Color coordinate your attire appropriately. Dark brown Dockers are excellent at hiding rust stains. Whatever you do, don't slip up and wipe your hands off on the car seats. Bad idea. (More tips next month)

We have a new member and Henry gave me the info but it’s lost on my computer table. I’ll send extra copies of this issue to the meeting. (I’ll be glad when this semester is over.)

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and I will see you soon. One last word ---

Watch out for SPLINTERS!